Reverie’s first song “Let Me Go” set the vibe for my third album’s release. Initially, with Reverie, I wanted to experiment with refining my sound more, attempting to make more genres and styles ranging from emo rap to indie rock, to midtempo.
Throughout the making of Reverie, I went through many different states from happiness to grief. I began writing Reverie during the summer of 2019 and had most of the tracks finished in early 2020.
Throughout this timeframe, I learned a lot about myself as a person, my attitudes and my goals in life, and this is what changed the initial goal with Reverie and made it evolve as it was made. I went from experimenting with new genres to pushing myself to convey my messages better in my music.
In late 2019, things took a dip again and I realised that I wasn’t entirely self-sufficient and that my self-esteem was quite poor. I learned that I would just live life and tolerate having such a low self-esteem and not let it bother me, which while it worked, was not healthy and I do not recommend others to do. I also ended up having a repetition of late 2018 again, with toxic people coming back into my life and holding me back. Soon again, the same cycle repeated – being isolated from my friends and losing my drive.
The first song I actually wrote on Reverie was “Nothing Special” in May 2019, while the rest of Awaiting was being released. I had lost some more close people to me, and by losing them, I felt like I had lost a significant part of my life with it. My mood had shot down to the point where all I could tell myself was that I was nothing special, and hence, the slogan came about. I was convinced that I was disposable and that there was nothing of worth to me. Eventually one day I’ll die, I’ll laugh for the last time, and I’ll cry for the last time. All the small things that make me who I am, from the weird little quirks in the way I speak to how I look and feel, will all be thought of for the last time before I disappear forever. I hated the feeling of being so insignificant, something so small in the scale of the universe and time as a whole. This is still something that bothers me to this day and I want to leave some sort of mark, whether that be through being a doctor and hopefully improving peoples’ quality of life, or through my music, leaving something permanent behind.
Another song that means a lot to me is “Find A Way”. At the time I felt people close to me drifting apart, slowly changing and losing their interest in me and what I did. Having people you confided in and could rely on to give you a piece of self-worth slowly fade hurts a lot, especially when you know it’s out of your control and inevitable. I wrote the song expressing my hope for finding a way, finding some means of getting back to how things were, and having everyone happy and together just like in old times. Unfortunately in life, this can’t always happen and it’s crucial to be able to cope with it happening and move on.
I put out stems for the songs so they could be remixed and my good friend Metio created the VIP, which at the time blew my mind. His spin on the song made it even more heart-wrenching for me and I insisted we made it a track from the album, and so we did.
Breathe was another song with this theme. The feeling of giving everything your all and feeling people you care about fade away hurts and makes you feel helpless, and unfortunately is something inevitable in life at times.
Another song that I hold dear in my heart is Desolate. I wrote this with one of my all-time best friends Harlow, who I keep in a special place in my heart. They’ve supported me since the days of The Fall Out and have been someone I can tell anything to, and can confide in at all times. Listening to the song to this day gives me chills as it reminds me of how rough times were when we wrote this song, and how their additions and vocals brought me happiness.
At the start of releasing Reverie, Parable Collective was just starting out, and I met some of my best friends then, who I love to pieces.
- Let Me Go
- Nothing Special
- Whole Again
- Glimmer (feat. Shiroroll)
- The Other Side (feat. North Sky)
- Find a Way
- Find a Way [VIP] w/ Metio
- Desolate w/ Snow Ghost
- Everything Will Be Okay
- Fall Apart (feat. North Sky)
- Take Me Home